020 7193 5917 ben@benwillens.com

Work With Me

modern therapy

I combine cutting edge mind technologies into a form of therapy that is bespoke to each clients journey and fits around the pressures of modern life

About the work

The problems people bring to therapy are usually external symptoms of what is actually going on for them. 

This work is primarily concerned with a journey which starts with the following fundamental question…

What is reality?

Most of us live as though the reality we experience is the same for everybody. If we encounter people who don’t think that same way that we do we think that they are a) stupid b) fucked up c) evil. Those people may be all of those things but the truth is that we all experience reality in different ways.

We gather information through our senses which is then interpreted by the way that our consciousness has organised itself around our past experiences. Through this we build a model of the world which becomes the way we experience reality as a whole.

There is lots going on outside of our conscious awareness that contributes to our conscious experience which for most people is a perceived as a narrative or story of who we are and what life is and our place within it. One of the most universal stories for life as a whole is that it is like a journey (from birth to death).

Our work here is to connect to your experience of that journey, not to deny it, but to find out where you really are.

We create mental maps

We are constantly creating mental maps of our experience along this journey. We use these maps to help us negotiate our mental landscape, to help us to get to where we want to go and to avoid the places that are dangerous.

These maps help us to make sense of the world and our place in it but…

The map is not the territory.

Maps are always out of date – because the world changes and they are based on the past.

Maps often contain errors.

Our maps may not be complete, there may be dark bits, unexplored corners, places that we don’t understand or believe that no one else could ever understand.

The places that we map as dangerous and to be avoided paradoxically become very important to our consciousness and this can lead to us placing a lot of (unconscious) attention there.

If your map tells you there is danger around, you make sure to pay attention to that danger so as to avoid going anywhere near it.

Our work here is to identify the internal maps of your experience, not to attempt to fit your experience into a pre defined structure (like many forms of therapy do).

 

Trauma

Sometimes people mentally visit places that are so different or intense that they find it hard to move past them. They are unmapped and can exist as somewhere disconnected to the journey which traps people there.

Our work here is to create space within these places to allow you to move on from them.

These maps define our experience of life and drive our thoughts, feelings and behaviour

The metaphorical wall you can’t break through may not be real but your consciousness has organised as though it is*. Which means that unless you can step into a whole new consciousness it may not be a great idea to ignore that wall completely.

That would be a denial of reality, not necessarily objective reality but your personal reality which as far as you’re concerned is as real as anything on this Earth.

Our work here is to explore your internal maps of reality and as we do so you may begin to perceive the landscape in different ways. Ways which allow you to discover steps you can take to move to a better place.

*thanks to Charles Faulkner via Andrew T Austin for this succinct explanation

What is Modern Therapy?

 

I don’t have a one size fits all approach nor do I try to hammer your round peg into a square therapy shaped hole.

Your journey us unique to you and starts with finding out where you are now and what you want to achieve from therapy. 

These are some of the cogs that turn behind the work I do.

Metaphors of Movement

Metaphors of movement is a fascinating way of exploring your internal maps to find new perspectives to get you moving again

IEMT

Integral eye movement therapy works with traumatic memories. Allowing you to move on from past events and start living  again 

Cognitive Hypnotherapy

Cognitive hypnotherapy combines a wide range of elements into a powerful way of using language and visualisation to affect rapid change

How do I Know It’s Right for Me?

It’s natural to be cautious about who you entrust to guide you. If you are unsure then have a look at the information on this site, perhaps watch a couple of the videos to get an idea of who I am and then consider booking in a free of charge consultation. There is no obligation and I don’t put you under pressure to continue if it doesn’t feel like a good fit.

My Story

The realisation that a huge amount of my behaviour was being governed by my unconscious mind was like a bolt of lightning to me. My eagerness to share these changes in the way I experienced reality undoubtably led to much annoying of friends, family and people at parties until it eventually permeated everything I did…

Through a career in fashion, advertising, the arts and entertainment I was privileged to be able to travel the world, working with A-list stars and some of the world’s most acclaimed photographers and directors. I was living a life that many people would describe as successful, however each success was always accompanied by a feeling that something wasn’t right. If I am honest my life was a mess, I often felt like an impostor and used to self medicate with alcohol and drugs. When one night my mind came back online to find myself in a hospital bed with a serious head wound and no memory of how I got there I knew that something had to change.

I was lucky to have people around who helped me to see that there were things happening in my mind that I was not aware of and that there was a depth of experience available that previously I had not thought possible.

My journey into the inner workings of the mind began over 15 years ago and will continue until the day I leave this earth. I feel lucky to have found a path and grateful to be able to guide people where I can.

Will you say yes to the adventure?

When many people experience mental distress they understandably try to get away from it. They hide or they hide it in an attempt to avoid discomfort and hope that this will solve their problems. 

The truth is the complete opposite. 

It is by exploring our discomfort that we find freedom from it. Whilst not easy, the journey of exploration doesn’t always feel bad. Just imagine every step, a step closer to freedom.